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Let's Make Donald Trump a Novelist

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Here’s the latest tweet from President Trump:

A sketch years later about a nonexistent man. A total con job, playing the Fake News Media for Fools (but they know it)!

Wow. 

"A sketch years later about a nonexistent man" sounds like an intriguing blurb about a mystery novel.

Heaven knows he’s too busy tweeting and angrying up his blood about all the horrible truths that are being said about him to write a novel. So, I say we do it for him. Here’s our cast:

Angelo Spacatelli, our protagonist/narrator. He dabbles in finance and politics. He’s foul-mouthed. He’s also a private eye.

Stormy Drang, a streetwise hooker with a dark past.

Spike, a vagabond with a Forrest Gump-like penchant for appearing everywhere.

Harry, a mild-mannered accountant who bears an uncanny resemblance to Spike.

Maggie, Angelo’s long-suffering wife.

Kyle, someone from Maggie’s past.

Our novel begins...

A sketch years later about a nonexistent man -- some called him Spike, while others insisted they knew him as Harry. And how did Maggie figure into all of this? When I showed her the sketch, she dropped her coffee mug and with a catch in her voice told me, "That--that's Kyle!"

I would spend the next 13 years of my life putting all the pieces together.

Okay, have it, fellow Kossacks. Let’s make gang-novelizing great again.


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